Hesitate
by waternights
Summary: John and Sherlock have a lot to realise about how they really feel. (Eventual Johnlock.)
1. Chapter 1

John Watson had had a bad day. It started when he was woken up at 3 in the morning by a large explosion coming from the kitchen of 221b, rushing downstairs, he had tripped and banged his head; Then only to discover what the explosion had been caused by. Sherlock Holmes was sitting on the kitchen floor, surrounded by a lot of dead bees. Sighing, John had cast a glare Sherlock's way, and before he had a chance to explain he walked back up to bed.

6 hours later, John was sitting in his office in the surgery waiting for his first patient. His phone buzzed, picking it up, he saw a text from Sherlock.

_Where are you? SH_

_Where do you think I am? _ John replied, still annoyed about the bee incident. Another text came just a few seconds later.

_Please don't try to be witty John, It really doesn't suit you. I assume you are at the surgery, if so, come home immediately. SH_

_No. Have you cleared up those bees?_

_Not yet. SH_

_Well clean them up, I don't want them to be there when I come back._

_Oh fine. Are you coming back now? SH_

_No Sherlock! And stop putting "SH" after your texts, I know it's you._

_But I said I'm going to clean up the bees. SH_

Just then, John's patient knocked on the door. Sighing, he turned off his phone and let his patient in. 3 hours later in his lunch break, John risked turning his phone on again. Thankfully it was on silent, because 17 new texts came in at once. John laughed and found the first one so he could read them in order.

_John. SH_

_John. SH_

_JOHN. SH_

_Fine, John please answer your phone._

_I didn't put SH at the end like you asked._

_Fine. SH_

_I cleaned up the bees. SH_

_Where's your gun? SH_

_John? SH_

_Never mind I found it. SH_

_Mrs Hudson is mad at us now. SH_

_John, I'm bored. SH_

_John, please don't be mad. It may have turned out that some of the bees weren't actually dead. SH_

_Do we have a net? SH_

_Why don't we have a net? SH_

_I'm going to buy a net. SH_

_Do you know where you can buy nets? SH_

Chuckling to himself, John typed a reply.

_I don't know where to buy nets, maybe ebay?_

Almost instantaneously, a reply followed.

_Too late by the time it arrived. I'll think of a way SH_

The day passed quickly, with John going through patient after patient until, finally, it was time to go.

"Right, I'm off, Sarah, see you tomorrow," John called with a weary wave.

"John!" Sarah called, sticking her head through the reception door "John, it's your day off tomorrow; I'll see you on Monday."

"Oh right okay, thanks." John replied, he was obviously more tired than he thought. Walking home in the rain, John's thoughts strayed to his flatmate. He didn't know what to call Sherlock, his flatmate, collegue, friend, best friend, boyfriend. No, sherlock and he, they weren't like that. Well, they were, no they weren't! John sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Looking up, he realised he was standing outside his front door when his phone buzzed.

_John, you've been standing outside for 3 minutes now, please come inside._


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Oh hi there! If you're here then it means you're reading this story, so yknow, thanks. I also meant to say that i'm hoping that I continue with this story, I really enjoy writing it, but i kinda suck at updating, so i'm not promising anything. This story will, eventually become Johnlock, so, if you're not into that then I would advise to stop reading - sorry. I think that's about it, then only other thing would be a notice of one swear word in this chapter, so yknow, be on your guard. Anyway thankyou for reading, if you have time please leave me review so I can see if you like it! :)

* * *

John stepped through the threshold to 221B and realised he was soaking wet. He had walked home in the rain, but the endless chatter in his head had drowned out the cold and damp; now he was home, the talk stopped, and the numbness spread.

He shivered and sighed before throwing his keys and phone onto his chair, and then headed to the shower.

_Once I step in this shower, I'm never coming out, _John thought.

As he massaged shampoo against his scalp, he heard a rough knock on the bathroom door.

"John!" Sherlock exclaimed from the hallway, "Come out now we have to go."

John groaned loudly enough for Sherlock to hear, causing the detective to knock again, this time followed with a "I will drag you out with my own hands if I have to, - come on!" and the sounds of Sherlock's footsteps hurried away to the kitchen.

John groaned again and bumped his forehead repeatedly against the shower wall, before washing out the shampoo and shutting the water off. "Bloody cases why do I do this to myself" he mumbled as he dried his hair and body. When he was dry, John quickly realised that he hadn't grabbed any dry clothes before showering, so wrapping his towel around his waist, he opened the bathroom door and stepped into the corridor.

* * *

Sherlock heard the bathroom door click open, and turned to confront his flatmate on how late they were going to be. What Sherlock wasn't expecting to see was this. John – his John, wrapped in a small, tight, white towel, just covering his torso. John hadn't seen Sherlock staring at him, staring at his tanned, defined hips, and his broad but soft shoulders that went on his acres and acres. His taut, muscular stomach, and the single drop of shower water that dripped from his neck to run across his collarbone. The way his neck turned in a singular, fluid motion to walk to the kitchen, they way those startling eyes flashed up to Sherlock's eyes - _Shit! _Sherlock thought, he must have seen his staring.

Sherlock coughed in a very un-Sherlock like way, before quickly mumbling an incoherent excuse to leave the kitchen as quickly as possible,- but not quickly enough to miss the beginning of a smirk touch John's lips. Sherlock almost-ran to his chair and whipped out his phone to text Lestrade. After hearing John walk upstairs calling "I'll be down in a second, I've just got to, er-, put some clothes on," Sherlock's cheeks blushed pink, and he felt his heat beat increase in speed significantly.

_What is this Sherlock? You can't keep thinking these things, it's John, you can't afford to lose John, not John, never John. You know what will happen if you keep at this._

Sherlock had always thought of his mind superior to the rest of him, his body merely transport for his brain. But now his mind was at war with his heart. His body at war with his brain. Half of Sherlock screamed to keep away, to stay distant. Trusting was dangerous, loving even more so. Sherlock knew that. But then why was his other half also screaming, screaming at him to grab John and hold him as close as possible, to wrap himself around him, and never, - ever let John Watson walk away. Sherlock had accepted John as part of his life now, and he'd be damned if he didn't at least try. Sherlock Holmes was in love with John Watson, and he wasn't going to give up without a fight.

As John bounded down the stairs and rushed into the front room, with a call of "Ready!" Sherlock's heart leapt and slammed against his chest. If the sight of John fully dressed could do this to him, Sherlock feared for the life of his ribcage against his wild heart. The two of them walked down the stairs to leave the flat, John in front. John had hailed a taxi, and they were on their way to the crime scene; John thinking about dinner and the possible cause of death of their latest case, and Sherlock mentally saving the memory of a half-naked, shower-fresh and positively gorgeous John deep and securely into his mind palace.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Hey guys! Sorry this is a late update, I kind of forgot? Sorry. Anyway, here it is. Texts are in italic, and I have read through, but if you spot any typos, please tell me :) Enjoy!

* * *

"John."

"What Sherlock?" grumbled John.

"John, - look at you, you're freezing."

"Yeah well we've been here for hours."

Sherlock sighed, this was not an easy case, he may need to ask his brother for help. Sherlock sighed again, and turned his attentions to John, he wasn't getting anything from the crime scene anyway; he and John would have to talk to family members of the dead man.

"Cmon then, let's just go." Sherlock replied, "Lestrade!" He shouted, "We're leaving, bring the relatives in for questioning." And with that, Sherlock and his blogger stepped into the waiting cab and headed home.

* * *

John had been surprised when Sherlock noticed him shivering. Whilst they were at a crime scene Sherlock usually ignored John and more often than not, left him behind whilst he ran around the city. So when Sherlock actually stopped thinking and decided to go home because of John, John was speechless. Of course, he wasn't complaining, it was warm and dry inside the cab, but John was still freezing.

He looked over at Sherlock who was texting Lestrade, and noticed how the rain droplets stayed on the outside of the thick coat, whilst Sherlock sat snug inside the warm coat. God, how he wished he'd pulled on another waterproof before they left. John grumbled once again, and tried to furrow deeper into the seat.

* * *

_Dammit Mycroft! _The bloody git wouldn't give him the files he needed.

_I can get them myself if you refuse to co-operate SH_

_I wouldn't brother dear, unless you plan on finding yourself dead at the bottom of the Thames MH_

_Really? The Thames? Never thought you would be the sentimental kind, brother dear SH_

_We are not children anymore, Sherlock. Please stop acting like one MH_

Annoyed, Sherlock turned his phone to silent and put it back in his pocket. He heard a grumble to his left, John. Of course, John.

They'd been in the car park for over four hours, with no cover from wind or rain. Whilst Sherlock had this thick coat, John had a thin leather jacket. After the first few hours John was shivering. By the end of four hours, John couldn't remember what warmth felt like. John noticeably shivered as he tried to sleep in the cab. They were an hour away from Baker Street, so Sherlock decided to care for John himself.

"John," Sherlock gently shook John's good shoulder.

"John, don't go to sleep whilst you're cold, it might end badly" Sherlock trailed off with a concerned look for the blogger.

"I wan' to sleep, Sher, I'm cold and tired" John mumbled

Sherlock shook John again, "Come on John! You're a doctor, for god's sake! You know what might happen if you fall asleep in this state!"

John snapped his eyes open and stared at Sherlock, "You're right Sherlock. Don't let me sleep."

As the minutes past, Sherlock resumed checking train times for the case, whilst John tried his best tostay awake. Ten minutes later, Sherlock noticed that John had gone awfully quiet. Glancing over, he saw John wide awake, fists clenched and jaw locked.

"John?" Sherlock tentatively asked

"Sherlock, I've gone so cold that I'm hot. All I can think about is how hot it is, seriously, - can we open a window in here?" John called to the cabbie

"It's hailing mate, I'm not opening any windows when it's like this outside." He replied.

"John, John it's not hot, you're freezing, remember that?"

Sherlock was worried about John, and they still had half an hour before they reached Baker Street. Sherlock decided to see what he could do for John. Think, what would John do if their roles were swapped? Sherlock searched his mind palace for times when he'd gotten cold on a case. No, no, not that, no, definitely not that, a ha! When Sherlock had fallen in the Thames, John made him take his wet clothes off and change into warm dry ones once they were home. However, they still had a while to Baker Street, so Sherlock shrugged his own coat off, and wordlessly handed it to John.

"Sherlock what is this?"

"You need to get warm, put it on John. It's dry."

"Sherlock, this is kind – really kind, but I'm too cold, I won't warm up, I'll just make the coat wet and cold." John handed the coat back.

Sherlock took the coat but didn't put it on, again searching frantically through his memories to see what he could do. With a flash of sudden realisation, Sherlock realises what had to be done. Without speaking, Sherlock reached over to John and pulled him close against his chest. Sherlock was warm, they just had to share some heat.

"Sherlock,"

"Mmhh,"

"Sherlock," John tried again, voice monotonous.

"Yes John, what is it?"

"What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Well yes, I suppose, but, - Sherlock, I – I don't" John trailed off after an annoyed look from Sherlock.

"John, shut up."

"I'm shutting up, I'm shutting up, Jeez." Although John sounded annoyed, Sherlock looked down at John to see him smile as he leant his head against Sherlock's shoulder, finally starting to feel warm again. Sherlock smiled and leant his head down so that it rested on John's sandy blonde head.

After ten minutes in this position, John drifted off to sleep. Sherlock checked his temperature and decided that it was acceptable for John to sleep. He smiled again as John shifted in his sleep and snuggled further into his side.

The minutes passed by slowly. Sherlock studied John's face until he had his sleeping form memorized and securely locked into his mind palace.

"I wish someone would look at me like that." The cab driver sighed.

"I'm sorry?" Sherlock replied.

"You've been staring at him, I wish someone still looked at me like that." He explained

"I don't understand."

"The way you look at him, it's really something. You must be pretty close."

"We're, we, we're not – He doesn't want," Sherlock stammered

"Ah. Say no more. Sorry mate. But, just, have you asked?"

"What? I, I know he doesn't want this. He's John, he wouldn't, I, I don't" The cabbie cut him off.

"Look at him, look down at him." The driver asked. John was sleeping contently close to Sherlock, a smile on his face as he unconsciously shifted closer. "By now, I think he;s probably up to temperature, he doesn't need to be that close any more, but he is. Why do you think that is?"

"He's asleep, he doesn't know what he's doing." Sherlock explained hopelessly.

"Mate, I was married for thirty years, Sleeping people are aware of their surroundings, even when they're really tired. If he wants to be closer to you, it's no accident, it's not just for warmth."

This left Sherlock speechless. The cab rolled up outside 221B.

"Just think about it, I think that maybe if you ask him, you might be surprised." The cabbie advised.

"I, here." Sherlock handed the driver the fare plus a hefty tip.

After a brief debate with John, John woke up long enough to get out and head up the stairs to his and Sherlock's home, ready for a long sleep. Sherlock however, would stay up all night thinking about the wise cabbie's words.

Maybe, Sherlock thought, He and John, they could be something. Maybe, just maybe.

* * *

AN: Please review! It would make my day x


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